Why Stories Can Make You Stop Being Mean

A few weeks ago I found a TED Talk called “Does Money Make You Mean?” and, I know this may come as a surprise to some of you, but the answer is: yes, money can make you meaner.

Science has proven that Robin Hood was justified. 

You can (and should) watch the entire talk (see link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ8Kq1wucsk), but here’s a summary of the findings:

In several experiments researchers discovered that rich people (even if they were only “richer” because they had more play money than another player in a game of Monopoly) tended to be ruder and more prideful than poorer people.

Rich people consumed more.

Rich people were more likely to lie, steal, and cheat.

Rich people were less likely to share.

Rich people were less likely to stop so a pedestrian could cross the road.

Astonished? I didn’t think so.

But this talk didn’t just bash on rich people. The speaker made me aware of at least two critical points that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about:

1. We are all rich in some way or another. Though we often focus on how much less we have (or how much less we can do) than others, the truth is, we are all more advantaged in some way than someone else. We are all susceptible to meanness. We are all tempted to lie, steal, and cheat to get ahead.

This thought led me to point number two:

      2. We all need something to help us overcome this tendency to be mean. But what could that be?  

Legislation? Government programs? Electroshock therapy? More prayers?

While any of these solutions might address part of the problem, there is a simple solution that costs almost nothing, and creates a huge difference: stories.

Sound crazy? Too easy?

Maybe. But maybe not.

As I’ve thought about this I’ve asked myself many questions.

Which people have changed the world in significant ways? How did they accomplish so much?

What are major religions and ideologies of the world? How have they lasted so long?

What stories do I know? Are there any specific examples of these stories making a difference? 

I thought of at least one. You’ve probably heard it; it’s the one called “The Good Samaritan.” This story was originally told by a carpenter who lived in poverty most of his life. And yet, almost all people in the world today—even those who don’t believe his story about being the Son of God-- know his story. And there are thousands of people who try to live differently because of his story every day.

Now, to be fair, the TED Talk doesn’t actually mention stories. In fact, I don’t think the speaker ever even says the word “story,” but I believe the same researchers who proved that rich people tend to be meaner also proved that stories could help rich people to be nicer. If you go to about 13:50 in the talk, Paul Piff explains a simple experiment that worked like this: a research team showed test subjects a short video on childhood poverty and then, about an hour later, put the same subject in a situation where they had the chance to help someone else.

The results? After rich people watched the video--after they were reminded of the story of others around them--they were just as likely to serve others as anyone else.

And I find that amazing.

This made me wonder two more things:

1. What stories am I hearing?
2. What stories am I telling?

A lot of the stories I hear are religious. I have been told my entire life to “study the scriptures,” and because I am LDS, that means studying the Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price, and also the words of modern prophets.

But what I now realize is that what I’ve really been asked to do is to allow stories to change me. I've been told to read stories over and over again so that I don’t forget the people around me. 

Incidentally, those scriptures tell me to not only “study the best books…and seek learning” but also to teach others “words of wisdom” (Doctrine and Covenants 109:7). 

So it’s not enough to just hear good stories.

I need to tell good stories, too.

What are these “good stories”?

As an English teacher I know a lot about form, structure, rhetorical strategies, etc., etc., and I believe all of these tools can contribute to effective storytelling. But I also believe that how I say something doesn’t matter much unless what I have to say is linked to truth.

Truths like:

Every person is important.
Every life has purpose.
No one is ever completely alone.
Anyone can make a difference.
Each human’s worth is eternal; it can’t be measured with material stuff.

But do I have publish the stories on a blog or speak at a TED Conference to make a difference? No. Obviously I support blogging and TED Talks (this very post proves that), but I think the most important stories we tell are the ones we tell ourselves.

And I have to admit that I don’t always tell myself good stories.

I don’t always tell myself that I’m important, that my life has purpose, that I’m not alone, that I can make a difference, and that my worth is eternal.

But I’m going to do better.

Today, I’m going to tell myself a good story.

And if I run into you, I’ll try to tell you a good story, too.

And maybe, if we all tell good stories, the whole world can be a little nicer.